The Unmarked Road

Life On The Other Side Of Mental Illness

The Unmarked Road

Hello my wonderful followers. I just wanted to send a quick message to you all and say a personal “hello” and that I haven’t forgotten you or why it is you offer your support to me. In fact I haven’t stopped thinking about you all and how I can further help/inspire/give more of what you need. I have been struggling with one simple fact: while mental health has been a big part of my past, it is not as much a part of my present, nor I hope my future. It is true I suffer from anxiety, yes. And I will continue to post about this when I am anxious. But it’s not always so severe that it takes over from the beauty of my experiences. And at times I am finding that digging around in my past struggles, into depth I had long dealt with and buried, has come at a cost to my own personal wellbeing. Because I am now a happy and positive person (most of the time!) and I have moved on. And there should be no pressure for me to feel bad or anxious, just so I have something to say.

My purpose has always been to show how dark it was for me, to show how it can be better. And I want to continue to do so! Unravelling a psyche that is no longer a part of my life, has sometimes been disturbing and is not going to serve me or you in the long run.

But do not fear. I do not feel like the work I have done has been a waste. In fact, for many I know it has been a lifeline. I can never say that my stories were meaningless or pointless. And I am still passionate about ending the stigma surrounding mental illness. I am therefore opening up the blog to others who are suffering and have a story to share. To continue the ground work that The Unmarked Road has started.

But for me personally it is time to show how life can be AFTER surviving. My website will keep the stories of my past to continue to help those struggling not to feel alone, to give hope. But what I would like to show more of is how my life is now IN-SPITE of having had those problems. That POSITIVITY and GRATITUDE are my life’s goals and daily ambitions.

I know I will lose some of you as the transformation of this starts to take shape. That’s ok and I wish you nothing but love and peace; I cannot be there for all.

I am not 100% sure how it will all progress, but for those of you who want to stick around and find out, thank you. For now, I wish you a beautiful weekend in your beautiful lives.

Dani xx

7 Comments

  1. I am so proud of you for doing this. I am also really super duper happy that you are embracing the happy you. I wish you all the joy in the world and can’t wait to see more of what you post. I’ll shall continue to be a fan and friend, no matter what you post or how you feel. You’ve got my support ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. I am glad to hear you are happy and well. I’ll be a follower, friend, supporter of yours forever no matter what. Enjoy yourself and keep in touch!

  3. I think you are doing exactly the right thing – for you – and hopefully for many others. Not all people who at some time in their life are depressed, whether reactively or clinically, remain so – in fact we hope that many people will get treatment and become healthy again – whole again. And I think it is just as important to show that and to show how your life goes on afterwards as it is to open up about yourself during the time that you are depressed. Because it is very important to people who are depressed to see that this is not the end, not a cul-de-sac out of which they have no escape. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it’s not that of an oncoming train.

    Unfortunately, the Health System doesn’t see it that way and doesn’t encourage people to look beyond depression, and that not only drags people back, it also puts a blot on their life and on their medical records. I suffered from reactive and mild clinical depression from 1998 until 2008 and was treated medically until 2003. Since then, although I am physically in a much worse state than I was then, mentally I have healed and no longer need medication. However, when I asked for a copy of my medical records to go and live abroad I found that I am listed as seriously mentally ill and depressed to this day! When I spoke to my GP, she admitted that I no longer suffered from depression and that she had taken me off my medication. However, in my medical notes, I will always be listed as mentally ill. She can’t change that, she told me, because I once tried to commit suicide (even though it wasn’t a conscious decision, I had a mental blackout which my psychoanalyst managed to help me understand so I can prevent it in the future). But for the NHS this apparently is not enough. So I am marked for all times as mentally ill.

    I think it is very important indeed to show that not only is there a way out of depression and mental illness but also to illustrate how life can be like after you’ve come through the “Valley of the Shadow of Death” as you have, so that other people can take hope from this and can find their own way out. Don’t stop communicating to us, Dani!

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