Welcome to my Blog! You may have found your way here due to my experiences with mental health. Or you may well be feeling the way I have felt all my life; that you were meant to be living the life of a Disney princess or something equally fantastical and adventurous!
After losing my job at Christmas (2014), I became painfully aware of the crossroads before me: one path was a clear and well-travelled road that I had gone down many times and knew would make me miserable, the other less use, but still without the FREEDOM that I so desperately longed for in my heart.
It was as though something inside my that I had been trying to bury for so long, could no longer be caged and the desire to help people overcome mental illness, suddenly overwhelmed me with a force I had not felt before .
And so I decided to risk it all and follow my dream by going down what I call The Unmarked Road; a road that no one has gone down before, which I can mould and create as I go.
I HAVE ALWAYS FELT LIKE MY LIFE WAS JUST ABOUT SURVIVING. NOT LIVING.
I was a passenger on a train just taking in the scenery and experiencing the things that were happening to me without any real control or influence. An over-thinker and anxiety sufferer this lack of control often caused bouts of depression. Suffering from mental illness both personally and witnessing it with family has meant that I have throughout my life felt isolated in every way. Difficult emotions that wouldn’t let me sleep at night or intrusive thoughts that plagued me so much that I thought I wasn’t normal and felt ashamed, meant that for a long time I tried to silence those voices in hope that they would go away.
I never knew or understood the kind of power I had within me.
Throughout my 10-year journey of learning how to overcome self-destructive behaviour, I came to realise that to live the way I want, the only person to make that a reality was me. No one was going to give me a healthy mind and it wasn’t going to happen by itself. Ignoring it certainly wasn’t going to help.
WE ARE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING THE CHANGES IN OUR LIVES TO ACHIEVE WHATEVER IT IS WE WANT.
So what do I want?
- I want to help people who struggle the way I struggled for so many years with various mental health problems. You are not alone.
- I want to end the stigma surrounding people like me, but I also want to show that a life of mental illness does not mean no life at all.
- I want to write about these issues; honestly, openly, and without limits.
I want to take the really overgrown scary road which looks like it’s clearly not meant to be gone down for a reason! and to document it, hopefully showing people that, while the path may look dark and frightening, the journey is worth overcoming that fear. Because what’s on the other side is everything you could have ever dreamed of and more.
So that’s what started it all. This blog will not only serve as a diary to see if and how I find a way to break down the boundaries of our society that try to categorise us and put us into boxes, but will also hopefully give others the courage to go out and do the same.
I hope that through it, it may bring some people comfort in knowing that there is another way. That change is possible if you’re willing to put in the commitment and take responsibility for the actions required to bring about change.
YOUR PAST DOES NOT HAVE TO DEFINE YOUR FUTURE.
And so my journey down the Unmarked Road begins! Every day is a chance to be in the driving seat. This is my story. This is our story. Let’s make it one worth telling.