The Unmarked Road

Life On The Other Side Of Mental Illness

Vlog Diary Entry #4 – My Suicide Attempt

WARNING: This video goes into detail about self-harm and attempted suicide. While it is not a negative video, it may make some people uncomfortable so please watch at your own risk. 

This was a difficult one to record. I fought hard again the impulse to press the stop button at any time! I have previously spoken about my issues with self-harm, but in this video I talk about the darkest time in my life.  My suicide attempt. Please be respectful.

12 Comments

  1. Having finally managed to play your vlog, I think this is definitely one of the best things you have done, not just on this blog. It’s easy to start moralizing when you want to help people while you’re writing a blog and you can lose touch with who you are and what you’re really trying to do. You have to come from where you have been because you are not a professional and if you bring up stuff from books that sound clever you need to know that you have been there and that you can personally relate to these things. That’s what you have been doing and that is your way. Other people who cannot cope with such a blog or vlog are better off skipping these bits and maybe come back to them when they have developed the strength and understanding to internalize them. Don’t let them steer you in another direction because it makes them feel better. That is not the purpose of your blog. I read and listen to everything you write and talk about and if I drift off the track then I am not ready for it. Take care and stay true to yourself. XX

    • Thank you 🙂 – I don’t know how else to be so I guess it’s a good thing that I have people like you putting your faith in me and my writing. xx

  2. Watching that VLOG, showed me how strong of a person you are. Telling that story takes a lot of courage, and watching you tell the story is one of the happiest things ever, because you are the one telling it! 🙂 I have had a respect for you since I first found your blog, and a deeper respect, when I related to your blog, and an even deeper respect when I discovered you were genuine and willing to truly help someone such as my self, and the utmost respect when I heard a piece of your story on that video entry.

    • Thank you so so much for your comment Matt. It means more to me than I could possibly write, and it is so touching that you feel this way. You remind me why I wanted to start this blog in the first place! Hope you’re having a wonderful anxiety free day today 🙂

  3. You recognise perfectly the way you are and do not try to be or copy somebody else 🙂 . That is all I can say after listening to you. I have the advantage of having known you for longer than any other person in the world and can recognise you in what you say. It makes for a powerful impression and a profound happiness in seeing that you know who you are and how you use your knowledge of yourself to express what you have learned and what you feel may make other people recognise themselves. <3

  4. Thanks for sharing that. It’s very touching. It takes a lot of courage to share so openly.
    How brave of you to step out and reach out to other people and helping them!

    There are two reads I want to recommend to you.
    First, did you know that consciousness lives on after physical death?
    I liked to read many Near Death Experiences (NDE)
    (for example , http://www.nderf.org/NDERF/NDE_Archives/Exceptional%20Accounts.htm )

    And second, two books by Robert Schwartz about pre-incarnation planning of our challenges, Your Soul’s Plan and Your Soul’s Gift. The second book has also a case of suicide in it.
    These books contain real-life stories and interviews with psychic mediums who have access to the pre-incarnation planning dialogues.
    I found these books comforting. They showed me that there is a deeper meaning in life’s challenges. Basically, they are always meant to make us turn inside and look for true joy there, inside of us instead of outside.

    • Thank you for the links Karin! I had not heard of these books but they sounds really interesting and will definitely be checking them out! Thank you 🙂

  5. Was wearing black a conscious or subconcious thing Dani ?

    • Haha no actually. I hadn’t even planned to do the video that day. I was wearing my ‘it’s cold outside and have to dress warm’ jumper 🙂

  6. thekeattolife

    May 16, 2015 at 1:09 am

    Your video entry moved me so much I broke down. Near the end i felt as if you were talking to me, about me, when you said positive things and that life is possible… I’m so depressed and everything is going wrong. Epic failures and unfortunate events have left me hopeless and thoughts of ODing have recently been flooding and flooding my thoughts. However, I’ve listened to you and decided to think twice. My second thought might lead to my second chance. I just want you to know that you have impacted someone for the better. Thank you so much for posting Dani.

    • Hello :). I have read your comment over and over and can’t tell you how much your words have moved me. To know that my video has in some small way helped, is so incredibly humbling – thank you for saying so. ‘My second thought might lead to my second chance’; what an incredibly beautiful expression. I wish you all the best with all my heart. If you ever want more support or just a sound board or someone to talk things over with, please don’t hesitate to get in touch through my contact page. Dani xx

  7. You have always wanted to help people and if you have only helped this one person, have touched the heart of one reader of your blog to such an extent then you have done God’s work and fulfilled the reason for writing your blogs with such soul-stripping honesty and courage. You have given another person the courage to face up to life and maybe that will help you as well, will help you realise that you are a person who deserves to be loved and are deserving of more than you think you yourself are worthy of. Your feelings of anxiety, your insecurity comes from a conviction inside you that you are not a very good, intelligent, brave, and generally successful person, and your lack of self-confidence puts a blight on your life, our and I hope that the responses to your blogs will help you realise that you ARE all those things, not just because I (your mother) told you so all your life. Take other people’s word for it. 🙂 xxx

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