When The Beatles released their 6th British single ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ in 1964, the lyrics encompassed the very essence of the 60s. Followed by ‘All You Need Is Love’ in 1967, the idea of being able to achieve happiness solely through love was, and still is, one adopted by millions all over the World. It is an ideal that I would love to be able to believe in…were I to live in the magical land of pixies and elves.
I’m not sure that The Beatles ever had to ‘care too much for money’, but currently finding myself with a bit of time to think about life, love and the Universe, I have started asking myself some rather profound questions. ‘What do I really want and what of that do I want solely because it is part of my upbringing in Western civilisation?’ ‘Are the things we deem important such as security, money, power etc, only as important as we allow them to be?’
Happiness is different and unique to each and every one of us. For me, my happiness relies largely upon how free I feel.
My opinion on how free we truly are, is somewhat unpopular largely because it makes people feel uncomfortable. My view that we are nothing but slaves to our 9-5 work schedules, paid barely enough to actually live our lives to it’s fullest potential, is not one those in head offices around the large conglomerate companies around the world would want their ‘worker ants’ to agree with.
Those ‘queen bees’ profiting from all the hard-working people trapped in this commercial beehive called our society, are able to live outside the facade of freedom.
I am not saying those people haven’t had to work hard at some point in their lives. But having experienced both sides of this coin, I know which kind of work I would rather do. Conference calls from a private jet, mind mapping over brunch on a yacht, certainly beats being scolded like a school child over having your phone out during a time that is not deemed as your break.
Barely a week goes by without a bit of drama in my life. Whether it’s directly affecting me or my friends, it seems someone is always dissatisfied with one aspect of their life. And nearly everyone I know has an unspoken and unknown depression from time to time, without really knowing why and where the feeling has come from. Most, but not all, are women. But is that really surprising?
The pressure put on us as women, by ourselves and our society to ‘have it all,’ is monumental and actually incredibly unrealistic!
In the 60s and 70s, women fought diligently for our equal rights. The right to be treated the same as a man. But haven’t we forgotten one crucial factor? That we are not like men? We are more emotional, sensitive and generally a more peaceful gender. I am in no way belittling the feat of what those women achieved for us, but I don’t want to be treated like a man, I don’t want to be less emotional or sensitive and I certainly don’t want to feel less of a person for not being like one.
Surely equal rights should mean having the freedom to be who you want, and not to try to fit into some man-shaped mould?
To go with my blog I decided to also record a video diary, literally starting the day I lost my job. In all honesty it is awful!! I almost threw in the towel on the whole thing, but I didn’t want to do it again as it was authentic and real, and I feel it is important for those who don’t know me personally, to really get a feel for who am I as a person. So here’s the video. I really am not exaggerating when I say it is probably one of the most awkward things you’ll ever watch! I promise I’ll get better!
Welcome to my Blog! If you’ve found your way here, you may well be feeling the way I have felt, well as long as I can remember really! After losing my job at Christmas (2014), I became painfully aware of the crossroads before me: one path was clear and well travelled but made me miserable; finding another office job that would never fulfil me felt like a prison to my soul. The other trails were less traveled, but still didn’t allow me the FREEDOM that I so desperately longed for. And so I have decided to risk it all and follow my dream by going down what I call The Unmarked Road; a road that no one has gone down before, which I can mould and create as I go.
I have always felt like I just existed in my life. Not living it. Like a passenger just taking in the scenery and experiencing the things that were happening to me without any real control or influence. Being an over-thinking, emotional person, this has often caused bouts of depression. Suffering from anxiety has meant that I have throughout my life felt very isolated in every way that I felt, and feelings that wouldn’t let me sleep at night or let me live peacefully without intrusive thoughts that this wasn’t MY life, that MY life was meant to be something else, plagued me so much that I thought I wasn’t normal and so for a long time I silenced those voices. I tried to ignore what I now believe to be my soul purpose.
What I have come to realise is that to live the way I want, the only person to make my dream a reality is me. No one is going to give me the perfect life. I am 100% responsible for making the changes to achieve whatever it is I want to happen. And what I want is to help and connect with people that feel the same way, and to write about it. To take the really overgrown scary road which looks like it’s clearly not meant to be gone down for a reason! and to document it, hopefully showing people that while the path may look dark and frightening, the journey is worth overcoming that fear, because what’s on the other side is everything you could have ever dreamed of and more!
So that’s what started it all. This blog will not only serve as a diary to see if and how I find a way to break the confines of our society that try to categorise us and put us into boxes, but will also hopefully give others the courage to go out and do the same. I hope that through it, it may bring some people comfort in knowing that they are not alone. That there is another way. That change is possible if you’re willing to put in the commitment and take responsibility for the actions required to bring about change.
And so my journey down the unmarked road begins! Every day is a chance to be in the driving seat. This is my story.