I feel things. Deeply. When something happens to me or someone I love, I have an immediate reaction. I cry, I scream, I laugh. I’m a wear your heart on your sleeve kind of girl.

But now I feel numb. I have no reaction. I’m floating between disconnecting realities and on the surface it seems like I am coping. What does that even mean? To cope?

Something happened to someone I love. Something I don’t want to put into words. People ask if I’m ok and I tell them that I’m fine.

The truth is, I’m scared to fall apart in case I cannot put myself back together.