So my dear Mr J took last week off work as a last little holiday for us before the little bundle of joy/terror arrives! It’s been so wonderful having some quality time just the two of us. We didn’t plan much, meals out, days in the sun, organising baby things, bit of shopping etc.
I have been incredibly fortunate to have married my best friend. It probably helped that we were friends for a while before we got together thereby establishing a genuine connection based on mutual values, likes/dislikes and core beliefs; something that can be bypassed when sexual attraction and infatuation takes priority. That’s not to say I could have married someone I wasn’t attracted to or wasn’t sexually compatible with! Just that in our relationship, friendship has always been our glue and it was through getting to know each other in a platonic way, that my admiration, respect and love grew from a much deeper place, catching us both completely off guard!
As clichéd as it sounds, I honestly never really knew what love was before I met Mr J and I look back at old boyfriends and realise that infatuation and loving the idea of love was what drove those unions. But genuine, lasting love is actually…well it’s quite boring! There’s no drama, no ‘reaching’ for love constantly. No waiting for the day that things will be way you imagine. It’s the everyday with an injection of a lot of fun and some frolics 😉
My decision to marry was based on the knowledge that our foundation wasn’t built on something as fragile as his job/wealth (that he could lose) or sex and good looks (which can be lost through age, illness or physical trauma). It feels like nothing else; like a true soul mate and life partner. Your forever team-mate.
Through the pregnancy we have not been able to have sex from about my 22nd week. I wasn’t worried it would affect our relationship because we are open and honest and quite simply, I married someone who puts my wellbeing over something like this. We haven’t lost the intimacy, in fact if anything we’re more nauseatingly lovey-dovey than before (sorry to those who know us!) Don’t get me wrong, we miss it but there has been no detriment to our overall feelings for one another.
Pregnancy is difficult for both partners involved and it only ever highlights existing issues. It’s a risky test for any couple, and, as I have found out through my babycentre forum, one that many don’t get through still being together at the other end.
I’ve only been married for 11 months so am well aware we’re still in our honeymoon stage. I won’t pretend I know the answer to a lasting marriage or that I know everything about making it through the trials and tribulations of every day life together over the next 50 or so years.
But I think friendship is a pretty good start.
Anyway this wasn’t supposed to be a post dedicated to my marriage! Funny how things can just take on a life of their own.
Swimming after a week off was hard but also wonderful. I’m starting to feel like very laboured with the extra weight and the feelings of weightlessness in the water is glorious!
Other than that, I have no more news. Probably because over the past few weeks I have been in some sort of weird hormonal pregnancy high.
Or is this just what deliriously happy feels like?