Last week I wrote about how my life changing news threw me into disarray. This got me thinking about big life changes in general and how many of us, not just those suffering with anxiety, find it difficult to cope with being thrown into the abyss of the unknown. But should we avoid change because of fear of failure? Is it really better the devil you know or is there a way we could learn to deal with life changes in a more constructive manner than our minds often revert to?
I am working on a more general article on how to deal with huge life altering changes, but for today I thought I’d share some of my own personal feelings.
On Wednesday I shared with you all some of the best news of my life. After 12 long weeks, the emotions of finally being able to see that little face on the ultrasound and meeting our baby for the first time, were truly beautiful and overwhelming. But it doesn’t always start off that way.
Before the scan you don’t have much in the way of proof that there’s an actual baby growing inside of you, and there is this huge part of you that, despite all the sickness and mood-swings and weight gain, is terrified that you’ve made it all up in your head! It is an agonising nearly 3 months, and it is usually during the first trimester that you feel your worst, so not being able to tell everyone to explain why you’re being a tired, temperamental and pretty pathetic lunatic is pretty hard.
On top of that, it doesn’t really sink in that you’re having baby because, as mentioned above, there’s no proof: there’s no bump and you just feel rubbish. It can create an array of mixed emotions and fears.
Dear followers, dear friends.
I would like to share with you today some very exciting person news.
Needless to say this is so ridiculously exciting (and it might explain why I’ve been a little more quiet on the blog front).
The Unmarked Road is truly an exciting journey to be on!
It is hard breaking away from the masses. It is even harder to find your own way when there isn’t a marked out path. I have the utmost respect for those who try to follow a passion or dream in the face of criticism.
It seems, however, that when those traveling on the unmarked road are unsuccessful at something, those sitting comfortable in their golden cages feel smug with an air of ‘I told you so’ about them. Like their own restrictive lives have been vindicated. But ALL successful people have failed. Simon Cowell, Stan Lee and even Walt Disney were all bankrupt before becoming a success.
A successful person is NOT someone who never fails. A successful person fails many times and instead sees this as feedback on how to do something differently. Failure is just a word, a state of mind and can be the beginning of something new. Something better.
I use failure as a sign that something isn’t right for me or isn’t align with my true purpose in life. So I move on to the next idea. My only failure would be if I gave up. If I went back to a life that was governed by someone else instead of me.
So don’t let an unsuccessful venture or a dead-end idea put you off. Don’t feel ashamed for having tried. It takes courage to swim against the grain, and even more courage to step away from something that isn’t working and admit that it’s time to move on to something else.
Certainly never let people who are stuck in their own unhappy existence, judge yours. You only ever need answer to yourself.
Love, Dani xx
Today I have read by far one of the best accounts on depression and anxiety I have every read. Whether you are looking to understand it more, or you have suffered/are suffering now, this article my Matt Haig is beautifully written and brings hope to anyone struggling to see light at the end of the long dark tunnel:
Suicide kills more people than most other forms of violence – warfare, terrorism, domestic abuse, assault, gun crime – put together. This makes depression one of the deadliest diseases.
Yet people still don’t think depression really is that bad. If they did, they wouldn’t say the things they say. Here are the things people say to depressives that they don’t say in other life-threatening situations:
- ‘Come on, I know you’ve got tuberculosis but it could be worse. At least no one’s died.’
- ‘Yes, I know, colon cancer is hard, but you want to try living with someone who has got it. Sheesh. Nightmare.’
- ‘Oh, Alzheimer’s, you say? Oh, tell me about it – I get that all the time.’
- ‘Ah, meningitis. Come on, mind over matter.’
- ‘Yes, yes, your leg is on fire. But talking about it all the time isn’t going to help things, is it?’
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3398591/Why-never-life-man-nearly-did-heartrendingly-vivid-account-depression-tears-lives-apart-bleakest-moments-love-save-you.html#ixzz3xDbeHmNd