Hello everyone!!! I am back (and hopefully with a bang!)
For those of you who don’t know. I’ve spent the past few weeks in Germany with my family. My godmother is currently surviving colon cancer and staying with her is always extra special. As a German I am considered short at 1 meter 62 (both my sisters are 6 feet tall!) and I always get treated as the baby; which I absolutely LOVE because I can just relax and be a little bit spoiled for a few days.
However. Even though I needed the time off, I had every intention of doing some work on the sly while I was away. Not touching the blog just made me too anxious. As my godmother doesn’t have wi-fi, I knew it would be difficult. But I didn’t realise quite how hard it would be! The first few days felt like I was withdrawing from a drug! I realised how much I had become addicted to checking my stats, with keeping in touch with my readers. Just everything internet. It was horrible to realise this, even more so when I visited my older sister and nephews and the first thing I wanted to do was get online, to check in and ensure people weren’t forgetting about me. I rescheduled a couple of old posts which did well, and being in Germany and talking about my father inspired the article about his death.
But apparently I needed a break more than I realised. Needless to say, my body took over and for almost the entire time I was in Germany, I was ill. It started with tonsillitis and then the infection spread to my chest. I spent every night having a coughing fit the minute I managed to drift off to sleep, and so during the day I was too tired to do anything but chill out with my family.
I have concluded then that my body decided enough really was enough. That I needed proper time out, a proper break from the site, from the wedding planning – from my own head even.
I had been feeling disconnected and feeling a need to recover emotionally (which I thought I had somewhat). But I didn’t realise quite how far I’d slipped. How much I’d been living on a constant level of stress and anxiety.
My body physically stopped me being able to do anything mentally. And it was exactly what I needed.
I feel completely new. Like a snake shedding its old skin, I have risen from the ashes and am revelling in feeling ‘like me’ again. The trick now is to not allow anyone or anything from disturbing this new inner peace I have rediscovered.
With 5 1/2 weeks to go before the wedding, moving out and travelling it’ll be a challenge! But I feel finally strong enough to deal with it head on; I just hope everyone in my life right now will make things as easy as possible for me!